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BangBoomCrashPOW – #30
"Hey, office dog! C'mon boy! C'mon office dog!"
That's what you'd be saying if you had an office dog! I'm talking about a dog that is allowed to hang out at your office. Like, it lives there. Like, it was bought and brought to the office for the sole purpose of being the office dog. You could put your company's name on a little dog shirt and put it on him and he'd just hang out and walk around all day, but that’s just a suggestion.
It'd boost morale like nothing else. Imagine - you'd get off of a long call with your boss that basically called you an idiot for 34 minutes for something that you now realize was a bad idea - you know what you could go do after the call? Hang out with office dog, man! You could go give him a biscuit and shake his paw, too! You could even take him for walks on your lunch hour!
AND it's your lucky day because I have a perfectly good office dog right here, ready to go - and it can be yours for FREE!!
So, hurry up because this offer won't last long and I have to get this Doberman out of the janitorial closet by Monday because management here is flipping out on me for...something unrelated.
Not because of the stray dog I brought to the office...
...it's because it has rabies.
ACT NOW!
BangBoomCrashPOW – #29
In-laws.
How many times have you heard 'ugh! I hate my in-laws' from your friends, family, co-workers of both the male and female genders? Every day? Sure, why not? Hating your in-laws is kind of an expected part of marriage. It's kind of anticipated that when you get married you're not going to like your in-laws.
But not me.
My in-laws are awesome. They're great, really. I kind of feel bad for my friends with the typically annoying in-laws. Ya know, the kind of in-laws that thousands of comedians have complained about for years. I actually have it so good with my in-laws that when I'm over visiting them I create drama with my imagination, just to kind of relate to those who don't have the cool kind of in-laws I do.
One of the funnest things I do though, to create that imaginary drama, is that whenever my in-laws yell at the family dog I like to pretend in my head that they are saying it to me. A couple things from just the other night went like this:
NO! NO! NO! DON'T EAT THAT!
The stupid dog got up on the counter and ate the taco dip. Stupid dog.
UGH! God, you stink!
That stupid dog was out in the rain and came back in smelling like a wet…dog.
GO AWAY!
The stupid dog would not leave us alone when we were eating! Stupid dog.
YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR OUR DAUGHTER!
The dog was actually being OK when they said this one, but ya know. Stupid dog.
BangBoomCrashPOW – #28
Man.
I hit a car today. Like...smashed it.
I smashed a car today.
Man. It just really sucks - here's what happened:
I went out to dinner last night for a friends birthday, lets call her 'kt'. Now, 'kt' lives about 45 minutes to an hour away from where I live, lets call it my 'house'. So, I leave my 'house' to go to the party for 'kt'. It was a great time, really fun. I actually sat in between my wife and Stefan, but that's irrelevant.
It turned out to be a way longer night than I expected. We've all been there, ya know. Sitting there at a dinner, with some of your best friends, drinking and looking crazy awesome in your new button down polo.
But whatever.
Anyway, like I said it was a fun night and we ended up staying until about 1:40 in the A.M, so by the time I got to bed it was about 3:45. I had to get up for work at 6, so I only got 2 hours of sleep.
So at about 6:45 in the A.M. I'm heading to work down a one way street, I kinda look away for a second and...
BAM!
I hit a parked car. Smashed it.
So, of course tons of thoughts went through my head - all I could think was 'my insurance is gonna skyrocket' - don't get me wrong though I also thought about the persons' car that I hit, ya know? I was thinking 'this dudes gonna come out to see his car smashed today', 'this guys gonna have to figure out how to get to work for awhile, maybe weeks', but most of all I felt bad because 'this dudes not even gonna know who did it'.
Anyway, my Hummer got scratched and grape Tab was sold out in the soda machine at work. So...yeah, pretty crappy day.
BangBoomCrashPOW – #27
Hey its pow 27 and this ones gonna be good i promise! its gonna be all about new years resolutions and how col new years is!!! what did you guys do for new years i? just stayed in but it was still prety fun i watched carson daily on teh tv and made a venn diagram about the simlatires and difernces betwen him and dick cliark are but the only simolarity was the hosting new years on nbc so in the end it was a preety good night and at the stroke of midngiht i decided that my new years resoluation was going to be to quit drinkint and writing POWs, so far so god lol happy new years
BBC Year in review
Welp, 2009 is heading out, which means 2010 is coming in. Also means the world is going to end, so you better watch some BangBoomCrash videos while you can. Settle down, I know what you're thinking. You're probably all like "But Stefan, which ones do I watch? Can I watch them more then once? What's that smell?". Well Poppa Hartman is here to say hush little baby, Daddy's here (and I farted...sorry). I went ahead and created a list of all of our skits that we made in 2009, AND MAN, what a year it was. We upgraded to HD videos in 2009, started the BangBoomCrashJABs, Mike had a baby, I had a Mike, we started writing the weekly BangBoomCrashPOWs AND we redesigned the website. Check out all the skits we made in 2009 below...
January...no skits...too busy being cold
February:
• Tag - Mike starts a game of tag.
• Stimulus Package - Mike has a plan to fix the economy for the better.
March:
• Intellectual Conversation - Mike and Stefan discuss the Hodge Theory.
• Saving Stefan - Mike and Stefan throw a bake sale to save Stefan's life.
April...no skits...to busy being rained on...or lazy...pick one, I don't care.
May:
• Skittles (Raw Footage) - Raw footage of Mike's first directed skit, "Skittles".
• Skittles - Mike's first directed skit about buying some Skittles.
June:
• Welcome Home - Mike greets Stefan right when he comes home (Our first JAB).
• AC/DC - Mike and Stefan rock out to AC/DC's - "You Shook Me All Night Long" (our first skit to be featured on another blog - blog.bustedtees.com.
July:
• VooDoo - Mike's been practicing his VooDoo.
• Dark Room - Never flip a switch in Stefan's house. Never know what it'll do...
August:
• Road Trip - Mike and Stefan take a road trip
• Good News - Mike's sister is having a baby.
• Hide and Seek - Mike and Stefan engage in a game of Hide and Seek.
September:
• Friendly Advice - Stefan offers Mike some advice on his choice of energy drink.
• Gonna Get You - Max just woke up and wants to play!!!
• Pizza - Mike and Stefan want a pizza, but some hoodlums turn out to be an issue.
October:
• High School...Friend? - Joe and Mark run into each other years after high school.
• Celebration - Stefan got a new job, so Mike breaks out a bit of the bubbly.
November:
• Frozen Vegetables - Mike see's a kid with Heely's and decides he has a pair too.
• Dessert - Mike's become really attached to his new pumpkin.
• Downstairs Apartment - Mike's been bumming it at Stefan's place without him knowing.
December:
• Foot Race - Mike challenges Stefan to a footrace, with hilarious results.
• Over Compensating Mike's always bragging about the size of his.
So those are our skits from 2009. Those are not including all the F@#% Ups and unfinished skits that we posted as well. What will 2010 have in store for BangBoomCrash...not quite sure. But I can throw out some keywords and we'll see if anything sticks. Words like Green screen, 3rd member, shirtless, dogs, effects, LOL, family, broken bones, broken glass, smart car and rectum...I can't wait.
As always, check back again. Sign up for e-mail notifications. Check us out on YouTube, Vimeo, FunnyOrDie, CollegeHumor, Atom, and Current.
Thanks for watching! See ya next year!!!
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